The Cookie Monsters

I almost died

What a hook right? It wasn’t so much a near-death experience as it was a close call with a falling light fixture. But still, what a hook! Man I’ll miss my crumbling apartment with the red pleather couch, the oscillating water temperature, and our pet mouse Stuart. But alas, it’s my last night in NYC and tomorrow I return to central air-conditioning and a diet shift from cereal and bacon.

Before I leave, I made sure to spend a day in Brooklyn, something I’ve been meaning to do all summer. I did hipster things like shop for records at a flea market and drink a vegan root beer float.  The not-so-hipster thing I did was take this MySpace pic of myself at Brooklyn Bridge Park.

But I had no choice. I was alone. Sam was working of course. And Kate had a busy day of brunch and napping (she was too tired to get a pedicure, and therefore WAY too tired to join me on my brooklyn escapade). What you can’t see in this picture (in addition to my friends) is my sunburned back, accompanied by a lovely stripe where by pursestrap was. I only realized my awkward burn on the commute home, and it explained why that group of men exclaimed “check out the back on that white girl!” At least, I hope that was what provoked the comment…

And now I’m eating a three ton hersheys kiss and watching Family Feud. I mean *ahem* packing! Thumbs up, Mom & Dad, I’m so prepared for my trip home tomorrow! … Anyways, It’s been an amazing summer, but I will be one happy Texan for the next 10 days. And then hey, maybe my blogging shenanigans will continue once I start my senior year at Duke. And let’s be honest, this is my blog. Though Sam and Kate’s grand total of four blog post contributions sure were a treat, I think it’s time for me to take some ownership over it. Especially since every time they posted they prefaced it with “Lindsay is MAKING me write this”. 

Goodbye New York! Thanks for every shake shack burger, every bubble blown at central park, every scoop of gelato, and every awkward moment on the subway. 

Omnomnom,

LT

Welcome to Mooyah

I may have mentioned my 6th grade boyfriend via blog before. James was my first love. He had gel in his hair, wore soccer shorts every day, and dumped me for a ginger-so i’m sure you’ll agree with me when i say, “WHAT A BABE”. We got past the bad break-up (I healed through listening to Five For Fighting’s Superman every night as I gently sobbed in the corner of my room) and managed to remain good friends ever since. As fate would have it, we’re both in New York this summer. And together we’ve inadvertently joined in on the quest for Manhattan’s Best Burger. 

It started with my insistence on eating Shake Shack (I’ve now eaten at each of the 5 local shops and hoping to expand to the international locations next…Kuwait here I come!). From there we’ve moved onto the very fratty, very delicious J.G. Melons, and we concluded our tour with 5 Napkin Burger yesterday. I don’t know why we’ve only eaten burgers together, it’s probably our inner Mooyah. You see, Mooyah was the restaurant we both worked at our Senior year of High School. Best burgers and fries in Texas! Along with James and fellow Mooyah’er Ian, I learned the art of a good slab o’ beef (please ignore any innuendo in that, I couldn’t think of a different way to say it…sorry family). So it only makes sense that our critical experimentation extend to the Big Apple! Of course it pains me to be in a burger place without being forced to shriek “WELCOME TO MOOYAH” at each incoming customer, but James has helped me get over that instinct. It sure makes me miss my Mooyah days-when James endearingly nicknamed me “Grungy” and Ian flirted with our thirteen year old coworkers and I mostly just dropped stuff. 

After three delicious burger joints, I have to conclusively say that Shake Shack is still the best. So if you’re ever in the area, don’t you dare forget to stop by for a good bite. But if you’re in texas, get yourself on over to Mooyah Burgers & Fries! Order the Lindsay Special! And when they look at you strangely and say “What?”, just tell em its a grilled cheese with bacon and a strawcolate shake. 

Now I’ve got a few hours before work later today. And while most look at that and see an opportunity for productivity, I see a chance to sit around in my pajamas and watch PBS. Barney & BJ are currently singing the sure-to-be danceclub smash ”Uh-oh, Yes, Whoopsie!” and I’m Baby Bop’ing along to the music. Excuse me while I groove.

LT

Subway Superlatives

This blog has seen its fair share of my awkward underground encounters. But fortunately for your entertainment and mine, the city that never sleeps also never ceases to make me uncomfortable. I’ve made a best-of compilation, for those wonderful subway moments that deserve some recognition. 

Best Dressed:

If you think Puka Shells are a thing of the past then you are sorely mistaken. Once reserved for Hawaiians and douchey 8th graders, this tropical adornment has extended its reach to middle-aged men apparently. Puka shells are for the guy who wants to say “I’m cool, and so is my jewelry”. Our Best Dressed award goes to a man who managed to take this statement piece and pair it with an actual statement: a tshirt proudly proclaiming “FUTURE LEGEND”. Well congratulations buddy, you just became a current legend. By adorning yourself with beads and boasts, you are now adorned with Cookie Monster glory. 

Mother of the Year: 

This one goes out to a master discipliner-let’s call her Sugar Mama. Unashamed of her own volume or aggressive disposition, Sugar Mama stormed onto the subway carrying her fiesty toddler at an arm’s length, like any loving mother carries her…garbage. The toddler was crying, and really gave Sugar Mama no choice but to smack him. And when that tender technique (surprisingly) didn’t work, she gave him a cookie instead! If my psychology major has taught me anything, it’s that punishment and reward are most effective when they are used in direct contradiction. Though I certainly respect Sugar Mama’s method, she made a minor misstep when she confused her two-year old for a Flavor of Love contestant and screamed “You better get out of my face!” at him. Anyways, don’t forget to thank all of the little people who made this moment possible. Like your cowering, caffeinated children.

Biggest Flirt:

This category could also be called “Most Likely to become a Sex Offender”. And, folks, this was a tough one. The subway is no stranger to lusty leerers. But one fine gentleman stands out among the other oglers. My morning commute typically consists of an overcrowded 6 train. And what better way to socialize than when someone’s armpit is in your face! So I wedge myself in between the pinstriped wallstreet intern and the plaid brooklyn hipster and prepared myself for a cozy trip. It got a lot cozier when I felt the fire in the eyes of a man nearby. He was old. Not George Clooney old. But like, Eugene Levy old. And his come-hither stare was both creepy and unrealistic (since it was surely too crowded for me to go-thither).

“HI!”

…he literally shouted it. It was really charming in that “what’s the matter with you?” type of way. I politely smiled as everyone in the silent train shared the same awkward moment. And then I got off the train 3 stops early. Though he didn’t quite win me over that day, I’m sure he went on to make many more young women and fellow passengers very uncomfortable. The art of the seduction.

Most Likely to Succeed:

The subway seems to attract some interesting philosophies too. One such philosopher was on my Times Square shuttle today, preaching his surefire way to succeed in life. What is it you say? “College is not gonna help you”. Yep plain and simple. No college, no worries! Now call me cynical, but I don’t find it so easy to take business advice from a man preaching prosperity on a subway car. But hey, he kept chuckling to himself and saying “OH YEAH”, so he seems to be pretty happy. 

Happiness is great and all…but stay in school, kids.

LT

For my loving audience

Greetings from the third roommate,

While I had originally hoped to be just another adoring fan of the site, Lindsay’s persistence (note: harsh criticism and bullying) has encouraged me to finally take a swing at blogging. In fact, today when I got home early and told Lindsay I was going to blog, she got almost as worked up as she did when insisting that if she were a lesbian, she would make out with Kate. But that is for a different blog post.

Let me preface by saying that I’ve never blogged before nor do I know if I used taking a swing appropriately in this context, but I promise to do my best to be just as witty as Lindsay is (I say as I try to win some points back from her after the lesbian comment). So, I feel like the most appropriate thing to do here is own up to the other things I’ve learned to say that make me sound cooler than I actually am.

1) Statement: I grabbed drinks with a friend

True meaning: While I have officially and finally turned 21, this in now way means that I’ve become mature enough to casually grab drinks at a bar. Instead, this term has come to mean a variety of things, from a friend and I buying wine and getting drunk by ourselves on the red pleather couch/my bed to eating McFlurry’s on the porch with Lindsey and Lindsay. 

2) Statement: Last night I went out at some place north of [insert street number here]

True meaning: I was home on 69th street, which is conveniently north of pretty much everything.

3) Statement: I’m exhausted because I was at work until super late last night

True meaning: I was blogging. 

I would love to continue on from here, but I just got a call from work and have to rush to the office to do something super important and meaningful.

True meaning: I’m sleepy and want to watch an episode of Buffy. 

-Third roommate aka Sam